Roundabout and Out

Roundabout and Out

By Katrina A. Holigores
Inquirer

Published on 09/14/2007

MANILA, Philippines—Logistics has never been a strong point for me. Getting lost in my own backyard or anyone’s backyard combined with a rather short term memory for names of places and streets is something I’ve learned to live with. Suffice to say finding my way from A to B is always an adventure. This week I find myself with a couple of friends on a road trip around Italy, this sounds (and is) an absolute joyride, with the exception of me having to take my shift in driving. I can and do drive back in Manila although I can’t say I’m the most patient and coolheaded person on the road. I feel constantly challenged by having to avoid all forms of public transportation, private transportation and not to mention public and private citizens who feel they are the only ones who have a right to be there. Driving abroad though is not necessarily any easier. The rules (although in general depicted in international symbols) vary and it doesn’t help when you’re trying to find parking and can’t understand what the signs mean. Read: parking directly in front of a tow away or EU 500 fine zone.

A couple of days ago I found myself snaking my way through the narrow streets of a typical Italian town which wasn’t built for anything wider than a horse. The feeling of actually maneuvering my way (both successfully, and unfortunately also unsuccessfully) through eye of a needle looking arches and maniacally parked cars raised my heartbeat a couple of times. Out on the wide open road the heartbeat raising aspect was in the form of roundabouts, (or a rotonda) which, if not entered into with confidence can cause a whole bout of insecurities. Think about it, you enter (literally) into a circular speedway of choices. Now, if you are not alert enough, you forget that someone else (or many someone elses) is bearing down on you from your left which could end up in disaster. If you are not sure of where to go and doubt yourself for a second, you miss the proper exit, and have to go around again with your tail between your legs as other cars, who know where they’re going zip by you without any hesitation.

But roundabouts are also a confidence builder, because at some point, you have to take charge and after taking a deep, deep breath choose your way out of there. It’s akin to the very moment (enter personal epiphany) that you get behind the wheel of your own life and decide that you do want to reach point A—or realize what point A actually is. Then, with that determination (taking into consideration that you will get a little sidetracked,) you go for it, just don’t be afraid to slow down every now and then to get your bearings. When driving it helps to be in a car with a GPS and a bunch of people who are understanding enough to know that even someone like Michael Schumacher hit a few speed bumps in his own career. In life expect to get pulled over a couple of times, remember to get tuned up regularly, and know with absolute certainty that there is an exit point to get to where you want to be on any roundabout you find yourself revolving. Go ahead and program your life’s GPS to be able to cruise through some of the most scenic routes that will make it the ride of a lifetime.

A Pilgrim Age

A Pilgrim Age

By Katrina A. Holigores
Inquirer

Last updated 03:37pm (Mla time) 09/28/2007
MANILA, Philippines—We have just zipped through another month. Not a great believer in coincidences, I find it ironic that as we focus on speed this weekend I have just passed through the slow, sleepy town of Assisi in Italy, and have, over the last two weeks, been inside over a dozen churches. Being a flexible Catholic, I can appreciate certain aspects of the religion that I was born into but remain clueless (by choice) of many others. One tradition (no idea of the source) that I grew up with was the wish-making associated when entering a church for the first time. There are many versions of this ritual; some say you make one wish, and some say three. Suffice to say, the latter quantity is what I opted for each and every time I found myself in front of the nth altar for the day.

During this quasi pilgrimage I had a chance to observe my companions and a thousand strangers entering and exiting each of these historic and significant houses of worship. There were those of course who went in as it was part of the tour they had spent X amount of Euros on. There were the local tourists who entered and, depending on the level of their faith, opted to sit down, say a prayer, or just take a photo (no flash) and then make their way back outside. For me, the visits were a combination of both, a chance to digitally document some masterpieces in art and architecture and also, on a more personal note, to slow down, take a break and indulge in the solemnity and sheer energy of a space that has housed over a million prayers and represented a steady vestibule of hope.

Like a Prayer

To have faith is to believe, without a shadow of a doubt, in an intangible happy ever after. Wishes, like prayers, are said when nothing else in the physical world can help you so you throw your heart’s desire out into the wide open flux of the divine. Wish granted? Some people ask for a sign, while some are content with the knowledge that someone or something out there has already heard and all they have to do is believe.

Faith is a funny, albeit powerful emotion. In my case, it has certainly lifted me over some of the more challenging potholes in my existence even if I have never subscribed to the more rigid norms that govern believing in God or a higher entity. The wishes that I’ve said in silence I know have been jotted down and one day I will come to realize if they have indeed been granted. Of course, the “wait” or as a very wise friend of mine pointed out the incorrigible “in-between” stage is the hardest part, and this again is where putting your trust in the unknown (but still knowing—if that makes any sense at all) has to come into play.

I Saw the Sign

So, how do we trust? Just saying to think positive sounds as shallow as the almost casual way people use soul searching nowadays. “Letting go” is a phrase that makes sense but isn’t easy to do, we revert back to old habits in order to find reassurance or affirmation that what we want we will get, and ASAP. Be patient? Try watching paint dry and you will see how easy that is especially when you are thoroughly convinced that your life will be so much better once wish 1-1000 is delivered to your doorstep.

Perhaps the best thing we can all do, in the time it takes from realizing what we want and actually getting it, is to grow up. To fully accept (with no sarcasm and rolling of eyes) that everything does happen for a reason and that the sooner we find out what that reason is we can better discern what to really wish. To put into full and utter belief that an omnipotent Santa Claus is making his or her list (and that we are on it) is the best we can hope for.

As I light another candle in one of the last churches of my trip, I look up and make my wishes and see sunlight slowly spreading across the ceiling and frescos. I feel like I’ve just received a knowing smirk from up above. Believe it or not.