Lighten Up

Lighten up

First posted 01:05am (Mla time) July 30, 2005
By Katrina A. Holigores
Inquirer News Service



Editor's Note: Published on page C2 of the July 30, 2005 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer.


WEATHER changes also seem to bring about mood changes. Actually, anything seems to be a perfect excuse for a little moodiness. Brooding, self-pity, some angst, reminders of unresolved issues poke their needly little fingers into our souls every so often. All of a sudden you wake up and you’re just not good enough, what you’re doing is not fulfilling enough, the people that surround you are jerks, your family is suffocating you… the list goes on. Bad hair day (for women), no hair day (for men), you name it. The slightest thing can cause mega irritation, even the “comic” faux ending in the CSI Finale was enough to get your eyes rolling. (At least it did mine). So, now that you’re carrying the weight of YOUR world on your shoulders what is there to do?

Lighten up, yes really. From Hello Diether to Hello Garci jokes and ring tones you’ve probably laughed as much as you could and faked your smile as an older relative or your boss went through (the millionth time) his version or her version of the Hellos. Watching the news is not an option and on the music channels you can swear that the artist of the month was the same one last month. What is the world coming to? Is it just you who notices how lame everything is? Wow, pare dude, chill. We are all allowed our days of being angry or rebels without causes but if we don’t give ourselves a time limit to feel and act like rabid dogs, then we’re pretty much on a long lonely road to bitterness and (gasp) the cloud surrounding every silver lining.

Surrender

To make light of every situation is done with practice and of course acceptance. Surrender to the fact that there are situations in life that are just not in your control… in fact there will be many, and if you allow them to affect you, then you’re in for a lifelong pounding. The only thing that you can really control is your own REACTION to what is in front of you. How much are you going to take before you break? Or are you simply just going to look this horrid, irritating situation in the face, and chuckle politely to yourself before stepping aside and moving on? Have you ever heard the expression “mabigat kasama” and no, that doesn’t translate as “He ain’t heavy he’s my brother” but it means that Mr. Mabigat is this close to being an emotional vampire. Trouble is, you might look in the mirror one day and see no reflection, so, lighten up.

A lot of things that are hurtful, frustrating, even abusive in nature are not necessarily meant with YOU in mind. In other words, when your father or mother started to date again, it was not meant to HURT you. If your ex has decided to go out with someone possessing “buhaghag” free hair and the body of a Sports Illustrated hussy it’s not life’s way of shoving poker hot barbs straight into your heart. Perhaps, it is just a little nudge to see exactly what issues you still are dealing with about your own self image or attitude toward life. (Thereby causing your hair to stand on end and your frown lines to increase in number). Stop it, take a deep breath, cuss if you need to, then rise above it.

Laugh out loud

Laugh out loud or cry wildly for a full hour. Then stop. Put a timer on your hysterics, because you CAN turn the on and off switch when dealing with your emotions. If you’ve reached a boiling point, go explode… then enough. Don’t drag it with you for another day. Go to the gym, hit a punching bag, dance your heart out at a club, write down as you wail your every thought and emotion, run a mile, take a long drive out of town, sit in front of your favorite piece of art, watch your corniest, slapstick movie or sitcom, call up someone you haven’t spoken to long distance… have a healthy outlet, then live your life again on a fresh mood start. It’s not as difficult as it seems. Life is indeed so generous that it always provides us options, we just have to look past the rage to see them. The decision to do so may be a little more difficult. Some choose to wallow in misery, some choose to finally swim for air.

Brighter outlook

Feeling better? Hopefully yes, or perhaps not yet. I say yet, because I honestly believe we all have been given the capabilities to have a brighter outlook. That these eyes that squint in anger are the same ones that can spot beauty in everything, the same ears that hear bad news are the same ones which hear the perfect song playing on the radio, and the mouths that roar out curses and expletives are the same ones which can emanate a message of peace and love. We are all vessels, it’s what we decide to bring as cargo that makes all the difference if we are to sink or stay afloat in life. Bon voyage.